


Waste Yourself

by Saccharine_Ghosts



Category: Daredevil (Comics), Daredevil (TV), Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Everybody is in love and it's great, Everybody needs a hug., Extreme Confusion, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I assure you., M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-23
Updated: 2016-10-07
Packaged: 2018-08-16 19:57:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8115469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saccharine_Ghosts/pseuds/Saccharine_Ghosts
Summary: Peter woke with a start. He tried to sit up, but he was immediately thrown back into place by restraints around his upper arms and wrists, and the pain that came with the movement. He thrashed around and his breathing started coming quicker and more laboured. "W-What's happening?!" He yelled, vision hazy. "Where am I? What am I doing here?!" The boy's voice was coming out hoarser than usual from disuse and dehydration. He pulled hard against his restrains, grunting and thrashing around more, bruising around his arms and ankles. "Hey!" A voice called out to him, "Hey! I need you to calm down!" Peter's breathing slowed, and his vision became clearer than before. "My name's Wade Wilson, what's yours?" Peter could hear that the voice was coming from behind him, but he couldn't turn his head to look at the person. "My... My name's P-Peter. Peter Parker" ~~~A retelling of the original stories from a different perspective, highly influenced by the comics. If you've read the Deadpool comics and know his origin, then imagine it's like that except Peter is pretty much Worm.





	1. Coming To

**Author's Note:**

> This idea came to me in a dream and I hastily wrote down all of the information and went back to bed, but when I woke up I didn't remember writing it down. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy reading my take on things as much as I enjoyed writing it down! Feedback is welcomed and appreciated!  
> ~Parker

Peter woke with a start. He tried to sit up, but he was immediately thrown back into place by restraints around his upper arms and wrists, and the pain that came with the movement. He thrashed around and his breathing started coming quicker and more laboured. 

"W-What's happening?!" He yelled, vision hazy. "Where am I? What am I doing here?!" The boy's voice was coming out hoarser than usual from disuse and dehydration. He pulled hard against his restrains, grunting and thrashing around more, bruising around his arms and ankles. 

"Hey!" A voice called out to him, "Hey! I need you to calm down!" Peter's breathing slowed, and his vision became clearer than before. "My name's Wade Wilson, what's yours?" Peter could hear that the voice was coming from behind him, but he couldn't turn his head to look at the person. 

"My... My name's P-Peter. Peter Parker" 

"Good, nice to meet you, Peter Parker. Stay calm, take a look around, and describe what you see." 

He knew he should still be alert, he should still be scared, but there was something about 'Wade's' voice that soothed him. He spoke in such a calm demeanour, as if Peter was a child. He did what Wade asked and turn his head as much as he could, taking in the scene around him. 

"I-I'm in a dark room, and there's plastic sheets all around me. I'm wearing a blue hospital gown. Do you know where we are? Where are you? Are you locked up too-" 

"Easy there," Wade chuckled, "One question at a time, sport. We're at the Superhero Factory! I'm in the same situation as you, locked up just behind you." Peter's heart sunk. If this man was also locked up, what chance of getting out did they have? 

"What do you mean, 'Superhero Factory'?" 

"We're here to become superheroes! At least, that's what they told me, but I'm starting to get the feeling that's not what's going on here. To be honest I expected more hot chicks in spandex and rich guys dressed as bats, y'know?" Peter let out a small huff of laughter, and was startled again by an alarm going off in the distance. "Is that not what they told you, Peter?" 

"No!" It was all starting to come back to him, "I was in Queens, walking with Matt... Oh god, I was walking with my boyfriend and I suddenly blacked out-" Peter felt the panic rise in his chest again, "Do you think they have him? Do you think he's here? Oh god, oh fuck, oh jesus-" 

"Hey! Peter, hey, come back to me." There was Wade's voice again, soothing and sweet, instead of jarring and stale like the room he was currently stuck in. "I'm sure he's alright, Peter, tell me about him." Peter's breathing relaxed somewhat, and he shut his eyes, picturing Matt's face. 

"He's a flaming ginger." He heard Wade chuckled, "I'm serious! Not the carrot-orange and freckles kind, the bright-mahogany, in-your-face kind." He smiled a bit, "He's completely blind, but you'd never know because he's absolutely gorgeous, and he knows it. He's so... optimistic. He really sees the good in everybody." 

"He sounds great, Peter, what does he do?" 

"He's a lawyer, he has his own firm." Peter sighed deeply and tugged at his restraints again. "He's the best at what he does. Really he's the light of my life." 

Wade let out a loud laugh, "I sure can tell! The way you talk about him! How long have you been together?" 

"Oh gosh..." Peter arched his back to stretch it out, "It's kind of embarrassing, he's twenty-seven and I'm nineteen, and we've been together since I was a sophomore. Some great lawyer, right?" 

Peter hummed at the memories. Having to hide Matt from Aunt May, him bringing him sushi on his lunch breaks and telling the office he was 'a relative', it seemed so long ago now. 

"Tell me about you, Wade. What's your life like?" Now that Peter was a little more relaxed, he became aware of how cold the room was, and how mildewy it smelt. He felt the urge to cover his nose and rub the goosebumps on his arms, but he couldn't. 

"Nothin' much, really." Although it was said with a little melancholy, he didn't sound like he was upset at all. "I used to have a few people, nobody stuck around. No girlfriends or boyfriends, just people I saw here or there. I'm twenty-eight, was in the army from the time I was sixteen to the time I was twenty-two. I was pretty good, but they found out I falsified my documents and I was discharged." He coughed wetly, "I thought, I might as well put my talents to work, right? So I became a mercenary." Peter froze, and Wade could tell. "Don't worry, Petey, I only went after the bad guys, and you don't seem like a bad dude." He broke into a coughing fit again, "A-bout this time last year I was diagnosed with cancer, so I thought, you know what? Fuck it. If these guys fuck me up, at least I tried to make my life amount to something instead of masturbating and crying into pizza for the last few weeks I had left." He laughed out loud, "I probably should've stuck with the pizza ending." 

Suddenly the plastic curtains rustled, causing Peter to jolt his head to look at who had entered. He was tall, inhumanly so, wearing a slick, black suit with an A across the front. "Good morning, sunshine!" the man gave Peter a sickening smile, "It's so good to hear you settling in and getting acquainted with your new friends so fast. I'm the Attender, I'm in charge here." The man pulled a tray on wheels over towards him, but Peter was laying too low to see what was on it. 

"Don't you dare fucking hurt him!" Peter heard Wade thrashing around behind him, "Don't you lay a finger on him, A-Man, I swear, I'll kill you!" 

His eyes grew wide at Wade's presumptions. What was this man going to do to him? 

"Oh, quiet you!" A-Man yelled at Wade, "I'm sure Mr. Wilson has told you all about our little project here, so I'm going to cut to the chase. I'm tired of the whole 'superhero' spiel. You're most likely not going to get out of here alive, not many do, but if you do, you'll have extraordinary powers. From there, you'll be sent to a facility that deals with the mental state of you. You'll be wiped clean like a white board and put to use, however they'd like." 

Peter couldn't even yell at this point. Even when A-Man lifted a hypothermic needle off of the tray, all he could do was stare. Tears began welling in his eyes, all he could hear was the blood pumping in his ears to the point where he thought he was going deaf, but suddenly Wade stopped thrashing around. 

"He's just a kid..." Wade sounded pained, almost like he was crying. It brought Peter back to consciousness, and he began fighting against the restrains to the point where the chaffing had numbed. 

"Get away from me! Stop! What are you doing to me? This isn't legal!" A-Man put the needle back on the tray and frowned at the beaten boy on the gurney in front of him. 

"Of course it's not legal! What kind of-" Within the span of a moment, somebody had burst into the room, tackled the A-Man to the ground, and began pummelling him.

He stood up, almost naked save for a pair of off-white shorts, spattered in blood. He was a wall of muscle, with messy blond hair, and striking blue eyes. Peter thought if it had been a better moment, on the outside, he might have flirted with him, or told Matt about him, but now was not the time. The blond undid his cuffs and lifted him up by the shoulders, and in Wade's voice shouted, "Get out of here, Peter, go!" 

Peter was still frozen in shock, but suddenly a piercing alarm rang through the air, bringing Peter back to the present. He jumped from the gurney and stumbled, legs numb from being tied down, but he got back up and ran as fast as he could into the open room. Multiple guards ran to restrain Wade, and paid no attention to Peter. He didn't have much time to look around, but the walls looked to be lined with the same type of rooms that he was in, with some machines at one end of the room and a door on the other. He ran to the door, legs rubbery and mind exhausted. 

He heard the A-Man yelled behind him, "Get the other one! He's escaping!" 

Time moved in slow-motion. Peter reached out for the door, blood pumping in his ears, heart racing a mile a minute, entire body numb. A gloved hand slammed down onto his shoulder, causing him to flip backwards and up. He landed upside down on the roof, clinging to it by the tips of his fingers. 

The room silenced, but everything was happening in real-time now. He saw A-Man, still lying on the floor, nose bloody and broken. Three guards were holding Wade back by his arms and neck, and everybody was staring up at him in shock. Especially Wade, who's jaw was slack and brow was furrowed in confusion. 

A-Man was the first to react to the situation, standing up and wiping the blood from his lips. "Well," He gave another sickening grin, "looks like you're already ready for step two, then!"


	2. Rebirth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens to Wade after he tries to help Peter escape? 
> 
> Or how does Wade become Deadpool? (And the boxes also make their first appearance.)
> 
>  
> 
> _This is the white box!_  
>  **This is the yellow box!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is slowly taking over my life and becoming my baby. 
> 
> Obviously it is heavily influenced by the comics, but I also want it to be different and interesting for you guys, so many events have changed! The chapters are also getting longer and longer, so it will easily be 20,000 words by the end. Please stay tuned!

Somebody pulled out a long wand-like object, which Wade presumed was a tazer of sorts, and jabbed Peter in the gut. Wade let out a broken cry and fell to his knees as Peter dropped from the roof and began convulsing on the damp, disgusting floor beside him. 

“Why are you doing this to us?!” Wade ripped his bound hands from his captors and fell face first into the floor. “Why did it have to be him…” 

A-Man snickered, “A welcome surprise, I assure you!” Wade turn his head just enough to see A-Man pick up Peter by his hair and look into his contorted face. “We see this kid walking in the park, he’s pretty scrawny and stupid looking, and his only company is some blind bloke, but it turns out he’s not just some highschool nerd, he’s the Spider-Man!” He let Peter fall again, and pulled out his phone. 

“Put him on the next bus to holding,” A-Man instructed a guard, “And take this one to the back. I want him to remember the day he disrespected me.” 

“Very well, Ajax.” The guard replied, picking Wade off the ground by his cuffs. A few others went to Peter and began pulling him away. His head lolled around loosely and his eyes were glossy and sightless. He lifted his head just enough to look at Wade one last time, and he smirked slightly. 

“Daredevil…” He hissed under his breathe. Wade couldn’t tell if he sounded confused or excited, but the moment only lasted briefly as his head dropped again and he was being dragged away from Wade, and Wade was being dragged away from him. 

“Wha- What?! What does that mean, Peter?!” Another guard joined the others to grab Wade as he began fighting his captors once again. “Peter, what does that mean!” Peter didn’t respond, head almost hitting the ground as he was carried through the entrance to the lab. Wade stopped struggling as the doors closed behind him, and he lost sight of Peter. 

~~~

Vision fuzzy and darkening like a vignette around the edges, Wade felt like he had lost all control over his body. 

“I probably should have thanked you, Wilson.” A-Man sneered just inches from the blond’s face. “Without you, I would have probably never realized the little Spider’s full potential.” He tightened the restraints on Wade, “Could you imagine how mad Dr. Killebrew would have been if I had killed the Spider-Man? Such wasted potential.” 

Wade couldn’t even find the strength to fight anymore. The days since Peter had came and left had been hell. He was sure that, at this point, it wasn’t about unlocking his mutant genes; it was all just Ajax’s sick sense of humour. He was revelling in Wade’s pain and suffering. From shock therapy, to pouring chemicals down his throat, he’d experienced it all, and it made the war seem like child’s play. 

“Unlike you, his loss would’ve been dreadful for all.” He pressed a few buttons on the machine beside him, “But like I said, I do owe you, and I guess it would be a plus for all the others who threw your name into the dead-pool, so I’m going to kill you, Wade.” He pulled out a long, thick needle full of a dark substance. “I’ll even sanitize the needle for you! How about that! What a lucky boy.” The Attending laughed loudly, but began frowning when he saw Wade’s neutral face. 

“What’s wrong, Wilson? Cat got your tongue? Lost that sense of humour? Too bad, I was just starting to like you, too.” 

Suddenly, Wade spat in Ajax’s face, causing him to recoil a few feet in disgust. 

“I just want this over with, Francis, so give it t’me quick.” 

The Attending wiped the spit from his face. “Excuse me?” 

“You heard me, Francis, just do it already!” 

“What did you just call me, you piece of shit?” 

“Aww, Francis, do you kiss your mother with that mouth? What would she think ‘bout her little Franny using such filthy words.” Wade’s eyes were shut tight, preparing for the worst, but there was no mistaking the look of pure euphoria and delight on his face as he taunted his captor. 

“Don’t ever call me that!” Francis struck Wade across the face, hard. “Don’t call me that, and don’t talk about my mother!” He brought his other hand and gripped the blond’s jaw tightly, enough to bruise. 

“Oooh, that’s a strong grip for a little girl!” 

“Stop it!” Francis began using both hands to wring Wade’s neck. 

“Choke me, Daddy…” Wade managed to hiss, jaw clenched tight. 

“ENOUGH!” Francis pulled away and moved to a machine on the other side of the room, “I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR GAMES, WILSON!” He dragged the machine to Wade’s side and pulled a mechanical arm of sorts off of the side. “You know, I was going to be true to my word. I was going to make this fast for you, but I’ve decided otherwise. This is going to hurt so, so bad.” 

He placed the arm above Wade’s chest, and slammed a button down on the side. The sharp arm dug into his chest, piercing his heart. He knew right away what had happened, what was happening, going to happen. Wade’s jaw went slack, and his glossy eyes bore into Francis’. 

“Have fun, Wade Wilson, wherever you go.” He pushed another button on the machine and it ground in further, making Wade’s mouth gape in a silent scream. Francis repeated the action and the machine pulled back, taking Wade’s heard with it. 

It was a strange feeling that he had obviously never really experienced before. At the time, he remembered being a kid and seeing his tonsils after they had been removed. It was similar, but not quite the same. His heart was different than he had expected, a different shape, and smaller than he’d thought it’d be. 

He couldn’t help but think how strange it was, that in his last moments before death, it wasn’t his deadbeat father, or absent mother, or a crush from his younger years that had run through his head, it was Peter. Peter’s last whispered words, and his dull doe eyes, and pale skin. 

“Daredevil…”

~~~

_Ow._

**Ow is an understatement.**

_Ow, times one billion._

**That’s more like it.**

‘What’s happening?’ Wade opened his eyes, but he couldn’t see anything. Nothing at all. He lifted his hands in front of his face, but still he saw only blackness. He stretched them up, but his hands hit something freezing cold and smooth. Wherever he was, it was cold, but he felt like he was on fire, skin hot and stinging like he had never felt before. 

He began feeling all around him to see if there was any way of getting out, but it seemed like he was trapped in a box of sorts. How could he have heard voices earlier? There was no room for anybody else. 

_We’re in your head, dumbass._

Wade paused.

 **You died, remember?**

_You’re in one a’ those weird, death, wall-thingies. Just kick the thing below your feet and it’ll pop out._

Wade did as he was told. It took a few tries, and he undoubtedly damaged his feet, suddenly he could see somewhat. He shuffled through the small space until he was out in the open. 

He was in a lab still, but there was no denying it wasn’t the Superhero Factory. Everything looked pristine, inhumanely so, and there were no scary devices anywhere, so he assumed it was a hospital. Wade, at this point, assumed he had somehow been saved.

Then he looked down. 

**No wonder we are in pain.**

_Ya’ look like ground meat, dude. Not nice._

The blond had many scars, from childhood, from war, but nothing like this. Every inch of his skin looked to be angry and inflamed, some looked years old, others looked brand new. He fell backwards against a countertop and knocked over a double-sided mirror that shattered as it hit the tiled floor, and that’s when he saw his face. 

It was the same, all sorts of red shades, and completely hairless. No more sandy blond hair, no more long eyelashes, everything was gone. 

**What a shame.**

_Really our looks were the only thing going for us._

“Shut up!” Wade put his hands over his ears, “Why won’t you shut up!” 

_It’s funny cause that’s what people are always tellin’ you._

Wade stepped onto the broken mirror and picked up a large piece in preparation, ignoring the shards stabbing his the searing soles of his feet and palm. He opened the only other door in the room, and inside sat a dark haired woman idly munching on a salad and scrolling on her smart phone. She looked up from her salad and began choking at the sight of Wade. 

Not only did he feel exposed and naked, but he also realized that if the sight of him had startled himself, he couldn’t imagine what it was doing to this woman. 

“I cremated you!” 

“Yeah, well, apparently not good enough.” He cleared the space between them in a second and had the shard of mirror to her throat in less than that. He pinned her against the table and towered over her, easily a foot taller. 

“Now listen here,” He looked down at her nametag, “Carolynn, I don’t wanna hurt you, but I need your help and if you try and stop me than I will have no choice, are we clear?” She didn’t reply, only widened her eyes. 

He took the weapon away and sighed, “I need some clothes, are there any around here that would fit me? Maybe the clothes I came with?” 

Carolynn visibly gulped, “You only came in some boxers, but there’s a box on t-that shelf over there with some clothes in it from a man who just came in. He w-was a little bigger than you.” 

Wade smiled at her as kindly and calmly as he could, but he could tell it didn’t calm her at all. He walked over to where she had signalled and pulled the box out. Inside was a black hoodie, Ramones T-shirt, and some dark, baggy jeans with a belt. He quickly put them on and pulled the hood over his head. 

“Thank you, Carolynn, I appreciate it.” He called over his shoulder as he opened the door. 

“Wait!” She yelled out, grabbing his shoulder. “I just burnt you alive, you must be in excruciating pain! I-I can’t just let you leave!” 

He spun on his heels and lifted her but the front of her shirt, “You can and you will! You will burn the report with my name, and you will never speak of this again, are we clear?” He was done trying to comfort her; he was done being the nice guy. “Are we clear, Carolynn?!” He yelled into her face, and she nodded, whites of her eyes wider than ever. He dropped her roughly, letting her crumple to the floor.

He didn’t pay her a second glance as he marched out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHA **I'M SUCH A TERRIBLE PERSON.** When I wrote the 'Choke me, Daddy' part I was bawling from laughter.
> 
> Please leave a comment to give me criticism, a request, or a comment! Thanks so much!  
> ~Parker


	3. Sympathy For The Devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A catch-up on our favourite heroes, including Petey, Wade, and finally introducing The Man Without Fear! 
> 
> Again, _This is the white box!_  
>  **This is the yellow box!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just GIVIN' 'ER right now. In between classes I'm jotting down all of the points that come to mind, and once I get through the initial lump of putting my thoughts down, it's flowing and it's all coming out just as I had planned! I hope you guys are enjoying this! If you have any suggestions, constructive criticism, or questions please leave them below! 
> 
> ~Parker

Out of all of his nineteen years on earth, Peter Parker didn’t think he’d ever been this scared in his entire life. 

The lid on the crate had shut hours ago, but it had felt like days. The only stimulation in the small, silver box had been the sound of the van beneath him, and the crick in his neck from having to duck. It’d left him alone with his own thoughts, to think about what he had done. He thought about his Uncle Ben, and how he could never make it up to him at this point. He thought about his Aunt May, and how much he regretted not telling her about Spider-Man. At this point he had probably not contacted her in a week, and what was Matt supposed to say to her? ‘Hey, I watched your son get kidnapped by scary secret agents, also he and I are masked vigilantes.’ 

Oh god, _Matt_. 

What was he going through? Knowing Matt, he was trying to stay strong, trying to put on a façade like he was not hurting, not burning up inside at work waiting for the ticking on the clock to count down and let him free, where he could put on his other suit and find Peter. How many people had been beaten at Peter’s expense? How many punches had Matt taken at Peter’s expense? He really didn’t want to think about that right now, but what else could he do? 

Deep in thought, he didn’t hear the engine hum to a stop. He startled when the lid of the crate lifted, and the light from outside flooded into it, blinding him. Large hands gripped him tight and lifted him out and onto the ground. His eyes were still shut, but he felt cuffs snap tight around wrists and prod into the soft flesh on the underside. 

A surge of electricity coursed through his veins, stopping him from moving further. Stopping him from feeling anything.

“Sorry, kiddo,” he heard a deep voice from behind him. “But you’re strong, I’ve seen ya’ lift cars and stuff before. Can’t be too careful.”

He opened his eyes and saw he was being hoisted off the ground, and away from the van. 

~~~

“You were with Spider-Man? Wade, how does this make any sense; how would they know he was Spider-Man? I-“

“I don’t know, Weasel!” Wade yelled, “They didn’t know he was Spider-Man, they just picked him up off the street!” He was pacing back and fourth in the Hell House, hoodie still pulled over his face and eyes teary from fatigue and confusion. “He’s a nineteen year old kid, Weasel. He might be dead now because of me, and my stupid heroics.” He finally sat down in the seat across from Weasel, head buried in his hands. 

“Wade, no, you can’t do this to yourself.” He gingerly laid a hand on Wade’s shoulder. “He’d probably be killed regardless, think about it.” Wade slapped his hand away and pushed his hoodie back, revealing himself for the first time. 

“No, Weas, I don’t want to think about it.” Weasel’s eyes blew wide and his mouth gaped like a fish, “I don’t want to think about Spider-Man dying because of me, I don’t want to think about what they did to me, I don’t want to think about how his family is doing right now, how is boyfriend-“ 

**He’s just telling you that because he’s your friend.**

_It’s your fault that Petey’s dead and that you’re an ugly fuckface now._

“AND THESE FUCKING VOICES IN MY HEAD, WEASEL, THEY WON’T SHUT UP!” He pushed away from the table and stood, smacking himself in the head in an attempt to stop them. His tears were running down his face at this point, no longer welling in his eyes. 

“Wade! Wade, stop, please!” Weasel stood as well and stepped towards Wade, “Wade I don’t know what you’re going through, but please just try to stay calm! We’ll figure this out!” Wade shot him an icy glare causing him to step back again. “H-He mentioned Daredevil! That’s another name for The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen! You should go find him, because him and Spidey are always together, maybe he knows something, maybe he can take you to his family so you can tell him, or can help. Listen, if you beat the odds of that dead-pool, you can kill those fuckers, _I know you can._ ” 

Wade was always joking, he was always causing trouble, especially for Weasel, but he was so glad he had him in this moment. He grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him in for a hug, arms wrapped tight around the smaller man’s shoulders. Weasel returned it, which was definitely not what Wade had been expecting. 

“I can’t just walk into the Superhero Factory lookin’ like this.” Wade sniffed, pulling away. 

“Then I’ll make you a suit. You can be like one of the good guys, like Spider-Man.” Wade stopped and gave Weasel another smile before pulling him in again. 

“I’m so glad you’re here, Weas.” 

~~~

_What if somebody thinks you’re Spider-Man?_

“What?” 

_Y’know, what if somebody thinks your Spider-Man? Your suit looks just like his, and everybody’s on the lookout for ‘em since he’s been missing so long._

“Wha- How- No it doesn’t! Shut up!” Wade whispered loudly to the voices.

 **I agree, it does look a little too similar.**

“Weasel, why did you make my costume so Spider-esque.” 

Wade pulled his pistol out of it’s holster on his leg and checked the chamber, making sure it was full. 

“It’s not Spider-esque, it’s cool and original. Stop telling me that you look like Spider-Man.” 

“But I do look like Spider-Man!” Wade put the pistol back in the holster, “We all agree. When you said ‘be like Spider-Man’ I didn’t think you meant ‘ _be_ Spider-Man!” He scuffed the toe of his boot on the roof that he was currently standing on. “When will I know when I meet this guy, anyway? What does being the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen entail? Is his head gonna start spinning all the way ‘round? Gonna throw up some pea soup?” 

“You’ll know when you see him, _Deadpool,_ just stay alert.” Wade clenched his jaw, but couldn’t help but smirk, he still thought the name he had chosen was badass. He’d been waiting for hours on these rooftops waiting for ‘Daredevil’ to show up, sharpening his knives and talking to Weasel on his walky-talky to pass the time. 

“It’s fucking cold!” Wade wined into the walky-talky, “And this suit is so itchy. Couldn’t you have made it with some soft insulation or something? I feel like I’ve got crabs everywhere.” 

“Dude.” Weasel replied immediately, “One; that’s too much information, and two; you’re Canadian, shouldn’t you be used to it?” Wade scoffed loudly. 

“That’s racist.” 

“How’s that racist?” 

“Stereotypes are racist.” 

“Canadian isn’t a race!” 

“Shut up, you’re not Canadian, you don’t know the prejudice I go through.” 

“Why am I friends with you?” He heard Weasel release a huge breathe of air before the walky-talky silenced. 

Suddenly there was a loud commotion on the street below him. Wade turned off the walky-talky and peered over. 

Weasel was right, he recognized him right away. The vigilante was surrounded by thugs, about a dozen of them, and was obviously struggling to hold them back.

 **Great branding, the double d’s on his chest really give him away.**

_Great double entendre. High five?_

**We’re voices in a head, dumbass.**

_Hey! Don’t be-_

“Shut up! We have to help him!” Wade charged off the roof, landing himself on the fire escape on the other side, and using his shin pads to skid down the railing. He immediately flung himself into battle, unsheathing his katanas and taking down the thugs with an energy and finesse he felt he’d lost so many years ago. He couldn’t lie, it felt good to be back in it, but he couldn’t help but feel somewhat guilty. 

At some point, The Devil had stopped and was staring at him finishing off the last few. His suit was covered in blood and entrails, as well as his swords. He wiped them on a body, then sheathed them. He noticed Daredevil staring, so he wiped his hands on his pant legs and held one out for him to shake. 

“Hi, ‘name’s Deadpool.” 

Daredevil didn’t return the handshake. 

“Those men were bad, but they didn’t have to die.” 

Wade pulled his hand back, “Yeah, you can thank me later. I need your help.” The other masked man grimaced. 

“After that, you’re lucky I don’t turn you into the police right now, but you’re right, I was in trouble.” Daredevil stood his ground, looking like he was sizing Wade up. “What do you need?” 

Wade couldn’t help but admire the man in front of him. He was shorter than Wade, but just as muscular. He looked to be severely beaten, suit hanging and shredded in some parts, he couldn’t help but think what those guys would’ve done to him if he hadn’t shown up. 

“Do you know Spider-Man?” 

“Why? Do you know something about him?” Daredevil straightened, no longer looking weak and torn at the sound of the arachnid’s name. 

“I know where to find him, I know what happened to him, but I can’t-“ Suddenly Daredevil closed the distance between them, picking Wade up by his suit and slamming him into the wall. Wade could have easily overpowered him in the state he was in, but still he didn’t struggle. 

“You tell me everything you know about him right now or I shove one of those katanas up your ass, I swear to god.” 

“Now, honey,” Wade was terrified, but he wasn’t about to let it show. “I don’t really want to bring God into this if you’re gonna put something inside my ass, capische?”

“THIS ISN’T A JOKE, DEADPOOL!” Daredevil’s face was just inches from Wade’s, and he could feel his hot breathe through the mask. “WHERE IS HE?” His voice was breaking, like he was about to cry. “He has a family he has to get home to…” 

Wade was uncharacteristically quiet. He tried to use the tips of his boots to lift himself when he saw Daredevil straining to hold him up.

“Are you Matt?” 

The Devil’s face didn’t change, he just let Wade go from the wall and fell to his knees. He didn’t have to say anything, Wade just knew. He knew you only spoke and acted like that about somebody you loved, about family. Wade let himself also drop to his knees in front of Matt, who took his mask off. 

His hair was bright red, just the way Wade had imagined. His sightless eyes bore into the concrete below him where his tears were landing as if it held all the answers to every question he had, but Wade could tell that he was truly blind.

“He told me he loved you a lot…” Wade whispered, “He told me that you were the light of his life.” Even the voices were being quiet for the first time since he woke up in the morgue. 

“Is he still alive?” Matt’s voice was barely audible. 

“I think so, but there’s no telling.” Wade put a hand on the red-head’s shoulder, even when he flinched. “They wanted to keep him alive, so I think so. I hope so.” Matt finally looked up, cloudy eyes meeting Wade’s through the mask. 

“Please take me to him, Deadpool.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many tears were shed by myself and the characters in this chapter. 
> 
> ~Parker


	4. Goons and Such

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'd call this a filler chapter, but it contains some very important information for the plot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, your favourites Logan and Jamie make an appearance in this chapter. 
> 
> The fan-service is real.

“I’ve been trying to track down Peter for a while now, but I’ve run into some… barriers.” Matt and Wade were sitting on the fire escape now, masks off, and feet dangling down over the edge, trying to cool down after the fight. Matt’s sightless eyes were trained at the ground below them; Wade couldn’t tell if he was even listening or not. “After they found out he was Spider-Man they took him to another facility for successful subjects, which I was not, so I never saw it.” Suddenly, Matt’s eyes met his.

“But tell me you have a plan.” He was pleading now. “Please tell me you have some leads or something at least.” 

“I have a buddy over at that bimbo Xavier’s place, ‘names Logan, we were old drinking buddies back in Canada.” Wade was trying his best to sound reassuring, “He was also a part of the Superhero Factory back in the day, a long time ago, and he’s still got a grudge about it. Something tells me he’ll know at least something. If not, he could smell Peter from miles away.” Talking about Logan out loud made the possibly of him actually cooperating seem more plausible. 

“So could I, though.” Wade furrowed his brows quizzically. “Peter loves Old Spice. I bought this cologne for him for his birthday last year and he practically drowns himself in it he loves it so much, I’m surprised he has any left.” The masked vigilante smiled a real genuine smile. “One time his teacher sent him home from school because somebody complained; he was so embarrassed, definitely toned it down after that.” He buried his face in his hands, and Wade began to wonder if he was crying. 

“I miss that kid so much…” Matt’s voice was quiet, but not breaking. “I’m sorry, you probably don’t want to hear this-“ He tried to stand up to collect himself but Wade caught his hand. 

“No! No, it’s fine, really. I like it.” He let go of the redhead when he settled back down. “Listen, Red, I’m not gonna pretend to understand what you’re going through. What you and Peter got, that’s one in a million, but from what I heard he’s a pretty cool kid, and I’m gonna try my best to help you guys out.” 

“Why.” It wasn’t soft or whispered; it was blunt and accusatory. 

“I-don’t understand. I-“ 

“You’re dying, Deadpool, I can feel your cells dying, I can smell the cancer. I can pretty much taste your body decaying. I can normally tell when people are lying, but I’ve been wrong before.” Wade shrunk bank like a struck puppy. “I’m asking what’s in it for you? Money? Did they promise you a cure in exchange for me?” Daredevil’s hackles were raised, ready to spring into a fight at any moment. “I should’ve thought this through! I shouldn’t have admitted my identity!” He began shaking almost violently, trying to stand. Wade just froze this time, unsure of his next course of action. 

He’s fucking losin’ it, Wilson! 

Do something!

“Peter and you have been dating since he was a sophomore in high school, and you were twenty-four!” Deadpool shot up to his feet to meet Matt, “I could tell he’s passionate, about you especially. He uses words like ‘mahogany’, and he has panic attacks.” Matt stopped right as he was about to hop off the ledge. “His voice is pretty deep for a twink his size, but when he’s worried or scared it gets rough and he can’t control it. He looks like he’d weigh a hundred pounds wet, but he’s probably more like one-sixty.” Wade shut his eyes tight, trying to imagine the scene again in his head. “He’s nineteen years old and he forgot about himself enough in a scary situation to get lost in how much he loves his boyfriend, and to ask me how my life was and how I was doing.” When he opened his eyes, Matt had put his Daredevil mask back on, but his head was cocked like he was listening to Wade. 

“Does that sound like somebody who is on the other side?” 

There was a moment of silence between them. The only noise was from the bustling streets of Hell’s Kitchen and their breaths melding in the air. Matt turned on the balls of his feet so he could face the taller man once again, who’s hand was reaching out in a last-ditch effort to stop the other man from fleeing. 

“Why, then? If not money, if not a cure… I find it difficult to believe somebody so skilled in killing innocent people would spend the last days of his life saving a stranger without a cent or weight to his name.” There was no mistaking the falter in the redhead’s voice. He was on the verge of tears, no doubt. Just hearing the break made Wade’s own eyes glossy; Matt was projecting. 

“I don’t know if these are my last days left, to be honest. Six months ago, I had five months to live, but now I’m not so certain. I survived cremation, torture, I’m fighting off cancer as we speak. All I know is one thing I’m being brutally murdered, next thing I wake up in the morgue, bat-shit crazy, lookin’ like your grandma’s meatloaf.” Matt’s shoulders were tense and defensive, whilst Wade’s looked submissive and defeated. “I’ve never done anything good in my life, I’ve never had anything worth living for. So, if this is really the end of the ol’ road, I’d like to do something worthwhile.” Matt seemed to believe him, the corners of his lips perking in a forced smile. 

“Besides,” Wade chuckled inwardly, “I’m sure helping out a couple ‘a super-twinks will get me a few gold stars in the big man’s karma book.” 

Matt chuckled and reached out a hand for Wade to shake. He took it firmly, but only clasped his hand tight. 

“Thank you for helping.” Matt said, voice barely above a whisper. 

“Thanks for believing in me.” 

~~~

Matt huffed out a loud breath and rolled his eyes as Wade rang the doorbell on the Xavier mansion for the fifth time without an answer. He crossed his arms and started tapping his foot impatiently at the taller man. 

“Hey, hey, Regina George, will you cool it with the attitude? They’ll answer.” He seemed like he was reassuring himself more than the other man, “It’s just a big place, y’know?” 

The door swung open, revealing a slightly disheveled Multiple Man, looking less than amused. 

“JEREMIAH! How’s it hangin’? How’s the detective business? It’s been a while! Wait, why are you here?” 

Jamie’s expression didn’t change. 

“When Charles asked me to open the door, I was expecting groceries or a package from UPS, not Daredevil and Wade Wilson cosplaying as Spider-Man.” Matt tensed slightly at the mention of his boyfriend.

“Why does everybody keep saying that!” Wade threw his arms up in defeat, “I do not look li- ugh.” He groaned loudly and face-palmed hard. “We’re here to see Logey, is he here, Jamaica?” 

Jamie nodded and signalled for the suited men to follow him into the mansion. It looked to be quite quiet, since it was a Saturday morning and most of the kids were probably still fast asleep. 

“So, why are you dressed like a Not-Spider-Man, Wade?” He heard Matt’s teeth clench and grind together loudly, causing Jamie to squint questioningly at him. 

“He’s not having a good day, just ignore him.” Wade interjected, “I’m a superhero now, so it’s Deadpool to you, Jemimah. And you didn’t answer my question, why are you here?” Jamie waved good morning to a few students and continued to lead the way. 

“Bobby and I thought we’d come by for a visit, haven’t been here in a while. Missing the roots.” He stopped just before a large, grey door. “This is where I leave you, I don’t really want Logan knowing I actually let you in here. Good luck with your superheroing, Wade, and uh-“ He held out a hand to Matt, who surprisingly took it. “Nice to meet you, Daredevil.” 

“Likewise.” Matt gave him a half-hearted smile and averted his attention to Wade as the brunet left. 

“Why you gotta be such a dick-pickle to my friends, Matty baby?” 

“He didn’t seem to friendly with you, are you sure he’s your friend?” 

“That’s not very nice, Mr. Magoo, y’know we’re both handicapped, we gotta be nice to eachother. Otherwise, who will? The SJW’s?”

“I regret this immensely.” Wade opened the door to reveal Logan, just as he remembered, pretty much right where he left him; Sitting in his favourite chair, Molson Canadian in hand, reading a newspaper. 

“He-llo, gorgeous!” Logan made a small noise of recognition before looking up slowly. 

“What’s with the gettup, bub? Halloween come early, or is it some new kinky thing you’re into?” He took a swig of his beer.

“You mean you know who I am?” 

“Of course.” Logan set the newspaper on the coffee table. “No amount of cheap fabric and repressing memories could muffle that fuckin’ god awful voice.” Wade feigned fainting. 

“Oooh, baby! You really know how to make a girly feel special! I was really hoping to surprise you, Logey, I thought maybe later when my job is done we could-” 

“Let’s get to the point, Wade.” Matt said from behind him monotonously. 

Logan shifted in his seat to take in Matt leaning against the desk behind Wade. 

“Who’s the horn-head?” 

“That’s Daredevil, he used to work for Gem and Cage’s team, but now he deals with Iron-Ass and the goons. That’s actually why we’re here.” Logan’s expression never changed but he was still looking directly at Matt, he could feel the older man’s eyes searing into his mask. “Daredevil’s boyfriend Spider-Man’s been captured, by the same hosers that got you, and recently got a hold of me, hence the P.J.’s. We need help locating the facility where he’s being held.” 

When Wade finished, Logan settled back into his chair and let his eyes settle back onto Wade’s. 

“Didn’t know you two were an item.” He nonchalantly sipped his beer as if that was the only piece of information he took away.

“So you do know who I am.” Matt, becoming impatient, bit back the urge to snap at the Wolverine. The time was ticking for Peter, but he knew arguing would get him nowhere. 

“I do, but I assumed you weren’t the real thing since you were actually sharing the same air as this moron. Only idiots like Bob would willingly chase your tail.” 

“Hey! One, that’s not true; Two, do you really think Bob even has the mental or physical capability to pull off the muscle and deliciously flexible body Double-D has got goin’ on right here- Okay, enough! We came here to ask if you knew where the successful test facility was, can you help us or not?” 

Logan squinted at Matt, then back to Wade. He tilted his head all the way back, and chugged the rest of his beer. “If you take me to where you were being held, I could probably smell him on the transport cars, but we’d need to figure out the path from there.” The shorter man stood, grabbing a leather jacket off of the back of the chair. 

“This is gonna cost ya’ so many beers, bub.” Logan exclaimed as they left through the door, Wade following last. 

“I’m loaded, baby, don’t worry about it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any other characters you'd love to see in this story? Let me know!

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is encouraged and appreciated! Thanks so much for reading! 
> 
> ~Parker


End file.
